Motion City Soundtrack - Even If It Kills Me(舊文重po)

這是一首對我很有意義的歌
怎麼說呢？
第一、這張CD花了我七百塊
第二、這是拜託喜歡的女生從美國帶回來的專輯
第三、這是整張專輯裡面我最喜歡的歌

這首歌陪我度過了這一年來最開心，也陪我度過了心裡最苦悶的時候
每次自己獨自聽這首歌的時候，心裡面的情感總是變得特別豐富
因為我一直都覺得歌詞寫好貼切阿

too weak to follow dreams tonight
想要追求自己心目的理想對象，反而被傷得遍體鱗傷
到頭來只能自己躲起來喝悶酒
too weak，是的我還不夠格，所以我還是別做夢乖乖躲起來宅就好

I'm not saying that I'm giving up
I'm just trying not to think as much as I used to
"吼~你想太多了拉"這是他以前常常對我說的話
我也不想要胡思亂想
只是不安全感太大，而得到的資訊實在是少的可憐，甚至是沒有
我想，正常人都會想東想西的吧=_=

For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try
I feel helpless for the most part
But I’m learning to open my eyes
And the sad truth of the matter is
I’ll never get over it
But I’m gonna try
To get better and overcome each moment
In my own way

這是整首歌的最後一段副歌，也是整首歌最高潮的部份
這段歌詞同時也是他的來電鈴聲-2008年2月6日(除夕)早上3點20分剪的鈴聲，是我用過的鈴聲裡面，使用壽命最長的鈴聲

這段歌詞帶給我兩種不一樣的感覺
可以是非常積極正面，也可以是讓人聽到就想哭的一段歌詞
除了這首歌之外
沒有任何一首歌裡的一小段歌詞能帶給我這麼多奇怪感覺
眼淚跟笑容都在裡面，聽到就會讓我想起心裡掛念的他
或許，這就是我為什麼如此喜歡這首歌的原因吧！

"Even If It Kills Me"



I’ve got a lotta things to do tonight
I’m so sick of making lists
Of things I’ll never finish
I’ve lived here for the last 12 years
Since early 1995 all my shit has been in boxes
But if I had a little more time to kill
I’d settle every little stupid thing
Yeah you’d think that I would

But I’m too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I’m too weak to follow dreams tonight
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try to get better and
Overcome each moment
In my own way

I wonder if I’ll ever lose my mind
I tried hard for awhile
But then I kinda gave up
Winter is a killer when the sun goes down
"I’m really not as stubborn as I seem,"
Said the knuckle to the concrete

But I’m too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I’m too weak to follow dreams tonight
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try to get better and
Overcome each moment
In my own way

I’m not saying that I’m giving up
I’m just trying not to think as much as I used to

Cause "never" is a lonely little messed up word
Maybe I’ll get it right some day
For the first time in a long time I can say
That I want to try
I feel helpless for the most part
But I’m learning to open my eyes
And the sad truth of the matter is
I’ll never get over it
But I’m gonna try
To get better and overcome each moment
In my own way

I so want to get back on track
And I’ll do whatever it takes
Even if it kills me